In defence of solitude

I’ve met too many people who think going to the cinema alone is sad.

Telling someone that you’re going to the movies is too often met with, “Who are you going with?”. I say that I’m going on my own and somehow feel the need to immediately follow it up with, “I prefer going to the cinema alone” as if trying to defend myself against the perception that I had no other choice.

It’s strange how experiences like theatre- or cinema-going — experiences that involve sitting in silence in a darkened room for around two hours — are seen as essentially social activities. While there is, of course, the fun of making an occasion out of a cultural outing, there is also something special about intentionally seeking out solitude in a noisy world.

Going to the movies alone began in my first year of university. The year that is, for many of us, the year of coming into independence and of learning to see the world through our own eyes. I’d spend free afternoon periods at our student cinema watching whatever was on at that time. I saw some of my favourite movies for the first time alone in that cinema: La La Land in 2017, Coco in 2018, and The Favourite in 2019.

Those afternoons spent nestled into the cushioned seats, often one of just two or three other people in the theatre, became somewhat sacred times for me. It brings to mind the Italian classic Cinema Paradiso (1988) — a movie beginning in a church that, within a matter of moments, physically transforms into a cinema.

In the movie’s opening scene, the young protagonist, Salvatore, stays after mass to sneak a glimpse of a film being projected onto what had just been a church altar. A priest sits alone in what were the congregation’s seats. There is scrutiny in his eyes while he watches the images flash across the wall. Each time the on-screen characters kiss or hug a bit too passionately, the priest rings a small altar bell, signalling to the projectionist which pieces of the film to cut out.

The intertwining of the church and the cinema is a golden thread throughout the coming-of-age story. It’s a reminder of how meaningful and even necessary it is to find a space for ourselves in the world: a space of solitude where we can create and discover companionship within ourselves.

In a society that seems to favour the extroverted among us, spending time alone is easily looked down upon and seen as something to be ashamed of. But imagine how much of life you’re missing out on by waiting around for somebody to “go with”. Solitude doesn’t need to be wed to loneliness.

You can be your own somebody to go to the movies with.

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